This is another post from DopeyLaRue from 2007...
Right? Not all the time, I will give you that, but we gotta go on a lot of stinkers to get to that good one. Me? I am still waiting. Take this one, for instance...
K - so I meet this cute little southern, and yada yada (not like that), we decide to go for coffee. So we go for coffee and he is mad charming and old school and whatnot and is all "yeah, I think girls need to be courted"...so...I am hooked, right? So once the obligatory pre-date coffee was done, we went to dinner. Again, super sweet, super charming, super old fashioned. Then comes our first "Saturday Night Date". This is the real deal, right? Yeah, that's what I thought, too. So Saturday rolls around and I spend the afternoon doing all of the things we girlies do to to primp and powder and whatnot to look oh so beautified for you guys. Dude said that he would plan it, and just to meet up with him and he would take over from there. After I was properly assured that these plans had absolutely nothing to do with a hacksaw and the Hollywood Hills, I agreed. So I show up, all dressed up for a night out. I am greeted by someone slightly resembling the dude I have been seeing (you will soon see was very different indeed), who leads me to his car, and this is where the night took a very wrong turn. Please note that any one of these acts, if done independent of the others, would have been easy to overlook (well, some of them anyway), but...all together...just, so, so wrong...and we're off:
1. Dude doesn't open the car door for me. I am not necessarily old fashioned in all areas, but c'mon guys, open the freaking door already! OH! And clicking your little unlock remote thingamabobber is SO not the same thing!
2. Dude informs me he needs to go get gas; while filling up he stands outside the car and doesn't speak to me. I just spent a few hours getting ready, and I am willing to bet it didn't take him nearly as long since he neither wears makeup (thank god, I really can't handle another of THOSE), nor does much to his hair, so, REALLY, he coulda taken a few minutes to do this beforehand...or at least spoken to me during the fill up.
3. Dude's car is filled with Britney Spears, NSync, other pop music of same form. Just take a look at my music tastes in my bio section then try to imagine how this passed muster with me. When I teased him about it, he says "don't front, you know you like it". No, no I don't. At all. I think it is everything that is wrong with the music industry. I am pretty freaking serious about my music. Sidenote, when I was telling my pops about this afterwards, I asked "Pops, do you think I am too harsh about judging the music people listen to!?!?!" His response "Hell no! It is THE number one way to tell who someone is". Go Pops!
4. After planning to take me to somewhere in the OC, Dude abandons the idea because of traffic and gets off the freeway in South LA without an alternate plan and asks me if I had planned anything. I will be the first to admit that I am an uuber princess sometimes, but when a dude asks me out, he had better have a plan. It is my ultimate annoyance, and a sure fire way to never get another date when you ask me "so what do you feel like doing?" Aside from that, this is LA! OF COURSE there is traffic! It, like, DEFINES us as a city!
So dude decides to stop in Pasadena to walk around and perhaps eat....
5. Dude will not stop trying to PDA me on the street. Yuck. Hand holding and the occasional peck WITH A STEADY BOYFRIEND is as far as I will take the whole PDA situation. I am not generally a prude, but yeah, I think making out on the street is classless and tacky and just makes me go "ick".
Here's the kicker. You ready? You SURE you're ready?
6. DUDE SPITS IN MY HAND. Yeah. Read it again. You were right the first time. After stopping for coffee (which, btw IS another no no in my book to get coffee BEFORE eating), Dude says "let me see your hand", and after holding it up questioningly, dude bows his head and spits his gum into my hand. Since I am totally NOT a fifth grader on the playground, I found this utterly revolting, disgusting, rude, crude, classless, tackless, and just plain dumb.
And that was probably when I should have asked to have been taken back to my car...but...I was hungry...? I don't know. I was trying to see past all of it...? Yeah. But it went on. So despite the fact that we were in a place where every other establishment was a restaurant, Dude suggests we go get some pizza and take it back to his apartment. I am not dumb, I know exactly what that means. But, you can pretty much convince me to do just about anything with pizza. Unless....
7. Dude bypasses many independent, New York style pizza joints, and pulls up to Domino's. Is that even pizza? Where he hands me the box to carry. Nice.
So then I ate my pizza-ish-flavored soggy bread and was ready to say "so long, fair well, good night"....when...
8. Dude says "So [enter name] is gonna croak soon, huh" referring to one of my besties who is currently on chemo. I don't think I even need to explain why this is the most disgusting statement of all time. With a look that I hope whithered his nether-regions, I turned on my heel and walked out.
I was going to NOT write about this in the off-chance that Dude was a reader; I just didn't wanna hurt feelings like that. However, about a week later Dude IMs me saying he would like to see me again. I respond with "yeah, that's totally not gonna happen". After he refused to take my polite refusals and pushed the issue too far, I gave him this list. His response was that I just needed to tell him these things, but since I am not the boyfriend school (or the school for class) I moved on. So...now the story is no longer copy written, and I can publish it here for all of you to enjoy! So...ENJOY!!!
p.s. I don't know how I almost forgot, but Dude also had a complete Nsync (or N*Sync or *NSYNC or whatever lame way it is spelled) bobblehead collection on display in his apartment. I am totally serious. On display. Without irony. Because he just likes them THAT much.
Right? Not all the time, I will give you that, but we gotta go on a lot of stinkers to get to that good one. Me? I am still waiting. Take this one, for instance...
K - so I meet this cute little southern, and yada yada (not like that), we decide to go for coffee. So we go for coffee and he is mad charming and old school and whatnot and is all "yeah, I think girls need to be courted"...so...I am hooked, right? So once the obligatory pre-date coffee was done, we went to dinner. Again, super sweet, super charming, super old fashioned. Then comes our first "Saturday Night Date". This is the real deal, right? Yeah, that's what I thought, too. So Saturday rolls around and I spend the afternoon doing all of the things we girlies do to to primp and powder and whatnot to look oh so beautified for you guys. Dude said that he would plan it, and just to meet up with him and he would take over from there. After I was properly assured that these plans had absolutely nothing to do with a hacksaw and the Hollywood Hills, I agreed. So I show up, all dressed up for a night out. I am greeted by someone slightly resembling the dude I have been seeing (you will soon see was very different indeed), who leads me to his car, and this is where the night took a very wrong turn. Please note that any one of these acts, if done independent of the others, would have been easy to overlook (well, some of them anyway), but...all together...just, so, so wrong...and we're off:
1. Dude doesn't open the car door for me. I am not necessarily old fashioned in all areas, but c'mon guys, open the freaking door already! OH! And clicking your little unlock remote thingamabobber is SO not the same thing!
2. Dude informs me he needs to go get gas; while filling up he stands outside the car and doesn't speak to me. I just spent a few hours getting ready, and I am willing to bet it didn't take him nearly as long since he neither wears makeup (thank god, I really can't handle another of THOSE), nor does much to his hair, so, REALLY, he coulda taken a few minutes to do this beforehand...or at least spoken to me during the fill up.
3. Dude's car is filled with Britney Spears, NSync, other pop music of same form. Just take a look at my music tastes in my bio section then try to imagine how this passed muster with me. When I teased him about it, he says "don't front, you know you like it". No, no I don't. At all. I think it is everything that is wrong with the music industry. I am pretty freaking serious about my music. Sidenote, when I was telling my pops about this afterwards, I asked "Pops, do you think I am too harsh about judging the music people listen to!?!?!" His response "Hell no! It is THE number one way to tell who someone is". Go Pops!
4. After planning to take me to somewhere in the OC, Dude abandons the idea because of traffic and gets off the freeway in South LA without an alternate plan and asks me if I had planned anything. I will be the first to admit that I am an uuber princess sometimes, but when a dude asks me out, he had better have a plan. It is my ultimate annoyance, and a sure fire way to never get another date when you ask me "so what do you feel like doing?" Aside from that, this is LA! OF COURSE there is traffic! It, like, DEFINES us as a city!
So dude decides to stop in Pasadena to walk around and perhaps eat....
5. Dude will not stop trying to PDA me on the street. Yuck. Hand holding and the occasional peck WITH A STEADY BOYFRIEND is as far as I will take the whole PDA situation. I am not generally a prude, but yeah, I think making out on the street is classless and tacky and just makes me go "ick".
Here's the kicker. You ready? You SURE you're ready?
6. DUDE SPITS IN MY HAND. Yeah. Read it again. You were right the first time. After stopping for coffee (which, btw IS another no no in my book to get coffee BEFORE eating), Dude says "let me see your hand", and after holding it up questioningly, dude bows his head and spits his gum into my hand. Since I am totally NOT a fifth grader on the playground, I found this utterly revolting, disgusting, rude, crude, classless, tackless, and just plain dumb.
And that was probably when I should have asked to have been taken back to my car...but...I was hungry...? I don't know. I was trying to see past all of it...? Yeah. But it went on. So despite the fact that we were in a place where every other establishment was a restaurant, Dude suggests we go get some pizza and take it back to his apartment. I am not dumb, I know exactly what that means. But, you can pretty much convince me to do just about anything with pizza. Unless....
7. Dude bypasses many independent, New York style pizza joints, and pulls up to Domino's. Is that even pizza? Where he hands me the box to carry. Nice.
So then I ate my pizza-ish-flavored soggy bread and was ready to say "so long, fair well, good night"....when...
8. Dude says "So [enter name] is gonna croak soon, huh" referring to one of my besties who is currently on chemo. I don't think I even need to explain why this is the most disgusting statement of all time. With a look that I hope whithered his nether-regions, I turned on my heel and walked out.
I was going to NOT write about this in the off-chance that Dude was a reader; I just didn't wanna hurt feelings like that. However, about a week later Dude IMs me saying he would like to see me again. I respond with "yeah, that's totally not gonna happen". After he refused to take my polite refusals and pushed the issue too far, I gave him this list. His response was that I just needed to tell him these things, but since I am not the boyfriend school (or the school for class) I moved on. So...now the story is no longer copy written, and I can publish it here for all of you to enjoy! So...ENJOY!!!
p.s. I don't know how I almost forgot, but Dude also had a complete Nsync (or N*Sync or *NSYNC or whatever lame way it is spelled) bobblehead collection on display in his apartment. I am totally serious. On display. Without irony. Because he just likes them THAT much.
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