Another from the Dopey archives, circa 2008...
The horoscope I read this morning:
It's a good day for you to try something brand-new, especially if it relates to helping other people.
What happened after I read the horoscope this morning:
While driving to work this morning I stopped at a red light (because that is the law) and looked to my right to see a car rolling slowly, the door open, an unconscious woman roll to the street, and the car keep driving. My initial thought is "whoa, they are totally dumping a body"* which led me to question the intelligence of doing so at 9:45 am in a busy intersection. So then I looked up at the driver in order to provide a description to the 5-0 later...only there wasn't a driver. Which is when I realized that the unconscious woman WAS the driver..and I was about to get hit by a driver-less car. I avoided that catastrophe and the car proceeded across the aforementioned busy intersection, miraculously unscathed, before a tree was kind enough to stop it. So I flip a bitch, pull over, grab my cell phone and run to the lady who was, by this point, semi-conscious, and call 911. Apparently what happened is she had some sort of seizure or something. She was fully conscious by the time the paramedics came and didn't appear to be altogether too hurt, thank God.
Some crazy freaking morning, eh???
ADDITIONAL NOTE: Just realized - I was there until the paramedics took her away and the scene was totally cleared...but no one took the car away; it remained in someone's front yard resting comfortably against their tree...that's gotta be a weird one to come home to, eh?
*Which, no shit, really happened once. Well, it has probably happened a lot, but I mean, in my vicinity when some dudes offed a tranny prostitute, rolled her up in a rug, and threw her body in my garage in Hollywood and was discovered by my next door neighbor..."everyone who comes to Hollywood has a dream - what's your dream?"
It's a good day for you to try something brand-new, especially if it relates to helping other people.
What happened after I read the horoscope this morning:
While driving to work this morning I stopped at a red light (because that is the law) and looked to my right to see a car rolling slowly, the door open, an unconscious woman roll to the street, and the car keep driving. My initial thought is "whoa, they are totally dumping a body"* which led me to question the intelligence of doing so at 9:45 am in a busy intersection. So then I looked up at the driver in order to provide a description to the 5-0 later...only there wasn't a driver. Which is when I realized that the unconscious woman WAS the driver..and I was about to get hit by a driver-less car. I avoided that catastrophe and the car proceeded across the aforementioned busy intersection, miraculously unscathed, before a tree was kind enough to stop it. So I flip a bitch, pull over, grab my cell phone and run to the lady who was, by this point, semi-conscious, and call 911. Apparently what happened is she had some sort of seizure or something. She was fully conscious by the time the paramedics came and didn't appear to be altogether too hurt, thank God.
Some crazy freaking morning, eh???
ADDITIONAL NOTE: Just realized - I was there until the paramedics took her away and the scene was totally cleared...but no one took the car away; it remained in someone's front yard resting comfortably against their tree...that's gotta be a weird one to come home to, eh?
*Which, no shit, really happened once. Well, it has probably happened a lot, but I mean, in my vicinity when some dudes offed a tranny prostitute, rolled her up in a rug, and threw her body in my garage in Hollywood and was discovered by my next door neighbor..."everyone who comes to Hollywood has a dream - what's your dream?"
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